Lonely, Drunk && Beautiful. ♥

So it’s the last few weeks before the big exams, and shit’s starting to kick off again. 

I’ve spent the last two weeks doing revision classes and studying as much as possible ‘cause my mum forked out 300 quid for the lessons, and spending any free time I had with those I could. With those that bothered to pick up the phone. 

Though they were hard going, I learned a lot, and they were definitely worth the 8 am rises and 1-2 mile walk into town every day during the holidays to do them.

I absolutely love, though, that some people think phones only work one way. Same goes for trust, and friendships. ‘Cause they don’t, they all work two ways. 

So if people are gonna think that ‘cause a guy comes into the picture that I’m gonna fuck off, they have it wrong. I was studying for my exams, working my ass off, and spending my free time with my sister, and my mother, and yeah, some of it WAS spent with the guy, but not all of it. I’m not that stupid that I’d give up all my free time for a guy. Especially one that was always in the picture.

But we ended the holidays with a bang, myself, my cousin, my sister, the guy and the crazy chick (Just ‘cause I haven’t used names throughout this whole thing. I’ll know who I’m talking about) by partying and staying up all night just having the craic, and the crazy chick’s brother coming along half way through it all and making it that little bit better. :) 

And now to knuckle down and study, and not let this bother me any more than it has, because I can’t waste any more needed energy on this shit.

“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it.”

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Je t’aime, Steven. Tu me manques. Bonsoir, faites de beaux rêves. 

Regardez-nous quand vous le pouvez, et nous vous souvenez-vous toujours. Je ne peux pas croire que ça fait cinq ans. Vous sera toujours dans mon cœur.

My French isn’t very good, but this is what I was trying to say, for anyone who cares.

I love you, Steven. I miss you. Goodnight, sweet dreams. Watch us when you can, and we will remember you always. I can’t believe it’s been five years. You will forever be in my heart. 

I am so fucked..

In Defence Of Our Dreams <3

And I guess that I could live without you

But, without you, I’d be miserable at best. 

<3

The blind will lead the blind
Though I can’t see it, I somehow feel it
All this will be mine
Life I created, in someway fated
I’m not asking you for much
‘Cause once I taste it, I just can’t shake it
And if love is not enough
I don’t know what is, I don’t know what is
It’s out if my control

And I’ll keep my fingers crossed
All is not lost

Life has suddenly gotten very complicated…

Although I think it’s time to go

I wouldn’t change a single thing no

And I swear as far as I’m aware

There’s no guarantee how this will end

So be brave, don’t behave, 

You gotta grab your chances with both hands

Until you’re held against your will

You gotta make it happen for yourself

For yourself, for yourself…